241/366 – New Year’s Hope

Ever since I started blogging I have debated about how much to share here. It’s been a pretty constant dilemma for me, but especially in the past month or so. My 366 occasionally contains very personal photographs that may hint at what I am going through, but I have generally stayed away from sharing the extremely rough times here. However, with the new year, I have decided that perhaps my photographs will be more genuine if I also share the emotions behind them.

This photograph, although taken quickly at our family dinner this evening, has great importance for me. I didn’t think about the significance until I got home and saw the image on my computer, but it kind of speaks to where I am at right now. As I mentioned above, the past month has had me questioning what to share more than before. Even as I write this now I find myself hesitating and deleting things just to rewrite them again. You see dear readers, a little over a month ago I called off my engagement (and relationship). It was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, and even though I know it was the right thing it has been an extremely difficult journey. It has taken a while for me to be able to handle questions about it, and to be able to openly talk about it, but I think I am finally there. So, back to the photograph at hand. For me, this is a reminder that it is a new year, and that there is light at the end of the tunnel so to speak; a glimmer of hope that is getting stronger.

 

90/366 – Engagement

My boyfriend proposed yesterday, for real this time!

He convinced me to go for a ride on his motorcycle despite the threat of rain, and we drove to the spot where we went on our first ride together. It is a little lookout that looks over the Kentucky River, with a stone bench/fence arching around it. He had a friend drive up there before us and put his guitar, a notebook we had been writing letters in and mailing to each other, and some fake rose petals that we had been mailing back and forth as a joke. When we got off the bike he sang one of my favorite songs (called blue eyes, which is perfect since I have blue eyes), and then he had me read a letter that he had written in the book. At the end of the letter it said that I should look up, and when I did, he was on one knee in front of me with the ring in his hands. I said yes of course. And then not long after a photographer friend of ours popped out of the woods across the street where he had been hiding and taking pictures of the whole thing. The rain held out while we were there, but it started up as soon as we finished everything up, and poured on the ride home. I couldn’t stop smiling and shaking, it was so perfect. It still hasn’t entirely set in yet, but I couldn’t be any happier 🙂

72/365 – he loves me not.

I had been craving some self-portrait shoots for a while now, and tonight I finally had a chance. Plus this was an idea that I had sketched out at the very beginning of summer, possibly earlier, so I am glad I finally was able to do it.

273/365 – Pure Loveliness.

**Still catching up…but getting there.

Saturday, October 9

This is my wonderful roommate Whitney. All week I knew that I wanted to go on a photo shoot with her on Saturday, and had an idea in mind (loosely, but an idea at least) with a location and everything. So we drove out to Raven Run, and as we were walking up to the nature center we heard someone say that the trails were closing in ten minutes so we couldn’t start a trail. So, luckily there was an open field (which was what I wanted) right by the nature center. It was all really tall grass, which had its fluffy seeds out (technical, I know), and there were a few spots with no grass because of the recent construction there. So we were out there taking some pictures, and picked some of the grass seeds for her to hold, and a guy from the nature center comes walking out (through the field mind you) to tell us that we aren’t supposed to be off of the trail, and we need to get back on the trail and went on about that for a few minutes, and then told us that we weren’t supposed to pick the flowers. So then I got annoyed and kind of frustrated that the trails closed so early and that they wouldn’t let me like 10 feet off of the trail. So we decided to go somewhere else. We headed to the Arboretum, which, after getting stuck in traffic miles out from there I realized that there was a football game that night, so it was take a half hour to go about a mile. I gave up and headed home, and wanted to take some self portraits, so we went in the backyard. I had my camera on the tripod, and at one point went to raise it up using the “crank” and it simply snapped off in my hand. So, overall, not a good day for photo shoots. But, luckily Whitney is beautiful and so easy to take pictures of. And hilarious so we had a blast anyways.

And sorry for the super long story. This is what happens when I post at 1:00 am…I ramble.

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243/365 – Mishy!

**Catching up now that I have photoshop again…

Thursday, 9-9

Last fall I bought 3 fish for a project in my photography class. There was one named Susannah (after my friend, who was in the class), who was my favorite; one named Danielle (after another friend, who was also in the class), who was such a pretty blue, and my second favorite; and then there was Elliot (the orange one, named after my boyfriend, who was also in the class), who I didn’t like at all, and really didn’t care what happened to.  “Susannah” died a late last fall, not long after I had bought him; I was sad. Then Christmas break rolled around and I had to take the other two back to MN with me because no one would have been around to feed them. So, I put both bowls in the front passenger seat next to me, and drove 13 hours home with them. The beta fish (Danielle) did not survive the trip. She was crushed by the glass stones in her bowl. “Elliot” however, was completely fine, and then survived the 13 hour trip back to KY. So here was the fish that I would have preferred die (I am terrible, I know), and yet it had survived everything. Well, we bonded, and his name has since become Mishy (I misspoke while trying to say “fishy” and it just stuck). Somehow, Mishy has survived for a year that has included two 13 hour drives, and around 5 moves of shorter distances. It is by far the longest I have ever had a fish alive. And he is by far the most playful and interactive fish I have ever seen. He almost does tricks even, it is hilarious.

I was cleaning his bowl on Thursday, and knew I wanted to do something loosely related to him. I had an image similar to this one in my head for a while, so I figured I would try it out, and I am fairly happy with it. Not in love with it, and I will probably try again sometime, but I like it enough.

Sorry, long, unimportant story over.

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And just because I thought this one was funny…